Inspirat, Docet, Alet

A Sound of Music Song Comes to Mind and Goodbye. . .

2009-07-07T23:07:00.000-07:00

My final post (sad face):

Well, it's taken me about a month to do it, but I think I finally am over all the negative emotions I've had attached to teaching. For the past month, all I've done is sleep, eat, watch tv, and work out. I feel pretty successful. Unfortunately, the result of burning out of DOING so many things is my all-consuming, burning desire to do NOTHING! I want to write more, but my desire to do nothing far outweighs that desire. Today was the first day that I actually got some things done. I felt quite accomplished. Although, I feel quite accomplished every day in my goal to do nothing. . . but that's a whole other topic altogether. :)

In honor of my last blog on this website, I leave you with a list of things I will miss about teaching. It's taken this long to throw off all the negative emotions in order to focus only on the positive, happy things.

Here is my official list:

1. My fellow teachers - I could not have enjoyed teaching so much if it weren't for the wonderful people with which I worked: April, Marci, Doc, Mac, Shelley, Denise, Kaydene, Julie, and my mom.

2. The kids - even though I didn't care for discipline, fond memories will stay with me more than the painful ones. Stephen Shearer, Hayden Cummings, Victoria Macaluso, Magan Creel, Hannah Webb, Shelby Cheek, Christina Miranda, Rebecca Everett, Daniel DeAndrea, Jarrett Bornstadt, Cameron Dornan, Landon Hull, Santana Fletcher, Alli Mason, Arlin Flores, Stacen
Dockery, Bennett Coleman, Ashley Shuler.

3. Music - If I hadn't have gone to the seminar that I did Summer of 08, I don't know how I'd have gotten through my last year. That was the best money I didn't spend! :)

4. PEGS - Same place I learned about the music, I learned about how to memorize lists using pegs. I couldn't have made it through my history class without it.

5. Latin - Mmmm. I love Latin. That was a gift from heaven that AHA asked me to teach Latin. I never had so much fun teaching a subject. I wish I could do it some more - without the lesson plans and discipline. :)

6. Spirit Day Fridays - It was nice to only have to dress up four days a week instead of five. Even though both sweatsuits were made for men and somewhat uncomfortable for me, I still loved not having to wear "real" clothes.

7. Foot injuries - if it weren't for my three foot surgeries, I would not have gotten to wear flip
flops! Huzzah for that!

8. Working in China - I loved working in the portables. Since it was so far removed from the rest of the school, I always called it working in China. There were less principle visits because of it!

9. Working for my Mom to get my feet wet - I don't think I would have made it in the teaching profession if I didn't have those first two years working for my mom and having classes of no more than seven kids. Pure bliss for a beginning teacher.

10. Suzanne and Mike - it was a short time we had together, but I would not have enjoyed my certification classes without them. I will always have a fond spot in my heart for them.

11. Kaydene and Julie - What a blessing it was to have them the last year working at LCA. I could not have goofed off so effectively if not for them. I'm thankful that they're still in my life.

12. A new year - each new year meant a new year to decorate! Even though I move quite frequently, I still do not get to decorate as much as I did when there was a new school year. Quite delightful and fun.

13. Friendships with kids - I loved that AHA encouraged discipleship relationships with our kids. That's my favorite part of teaching is forming relationships, so to have full liscense to hang out with the kids after school was awesome!

14. Free time on my off periods - Those were surely some quality moments to (1 write this blog and (2 detox from having so much to do in a class period.

15. Humor - The fun part of my personality is what got me through the stressful moments. Instead of lashing out in anger, I just did foolish things and yelled foolish exclamations in order to release the anger. It was both humorous to my system and to the kids.

16. Constantly learning things - While the kids learned new things, so did I! Especially teaching Latin.

I'm sure I can add to this list, but these are just a few of my favorite things about teaching that I will hold in my heart with a great fondness.

And then the end will come. . .

2009-05-22T09:19:00.000-07:00

It's almost over - my life as a teacher.

Having been only a four year journey, there is not a whole lot to grieve over. I mean, four years. Big whoop in the grand scheme of things. So, I'm not unhappy. I'm not sad. I'm just relieved. I CANNOT wait to walk away from these perpetual feelings of stress that have bombarded my body for so long. I cannot even remember the last time I remember my shoulders not aching under the stress of teaching.

This will be my almost last entry. I'm going to wait a few more weeks so I can detoxify myself so I can share with you the highlights of my last four years. But I need to rest first.

I bid you adieu. . .

Inspirational Quote:

2009-04-29T09:17:00.001-07:00

"Baptism is putting you in a tub of water - spiritually."

Swimming in Grace and then the Foolish Beauties were Defenestrated

2009-04-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

Well, it finally happened. I enjoyed my Bible class today. I don't know if I could say that was true at any other point this year. I've felt like all I do it redirect people to the issues being talked about, not actually hearing their hearts or going very deep. It's been quite frustrating.

So, I started off the class talking about how they need to push through and stay excellent until the end of the year and gave them my example of my persevering through my time working in the kitchen at IHOP. I guess there was just an openness of heart this morning because they were sitting there in rapt attention. We talked about the importance of faithfulness, not being able to know their hearts because of the size of the class, me being stressed out by having to discipline, sex, enculturation due to watching movies and tv, the importance of everything being viewed from the heart, our need for acceptance, oral sex, making out, etc. . . And the whole time, they just sat there and listened!!! It was the most peaceful, delightful class ever.

Then, in 8th Latin, it felt like their hearts were open, so we listened to my favorite sermonette - The Nature of God. They sat there, took notes, had good points they discussed, and again, there was peace. For the first time in a long time, I'm sitting here with very little tension in my shoulders and not simply ready to run home and hop in bed to sleep. It's been an infinitely tender gift from Jesus. I am boundlessly blessed. Thank you, Jesus, your grace is without fail.

Together, together, EVERYONE!

2009-04-20T09:46:00.000-07:00

Throughout my scant four years of teaching, I've come to conclude one major theme: children must interact with each other to learn well. It seems that this must stem from the foundation of who we are - we are made to live in community. I know this is in the heart of God - the need to be with others, but it displays itself so effectively in the classroom setting. Kids are not happy unless they are talking and interacting with others. So, why are our classrooms so teacher focused? I know I get tired of hearing myself talk. I get tired of standing up there and telling everyone to be quiet! So, I try to, as much as possible, get everyone talking so they'll actually want to listen when I speak! We were made for community!!!!

Let Go, Let Flow

2009-04-16T13:10:00.000-07:00

Teaching, lots of students, smiling faces, cute dimples, lots of words, tension in my shoulders from interrupting myself to call on someone for talking, disrespect, "aha!" moments, happiness, chatter, must work in groups, social, socializing, work with people, made to live in community, isolation breeds negative spirit, release of anxiety through laughing, making fun, stuck in the middle of being a child and being an adult, hating responsibility, needing relief from so many burdens and responsibility, I don't feel like I was created to be in a position of so much responsibility, but am I using that as an excuse, or am I really that way, interruptions, can't keep a train of thought, using planning period for unuseful things, or are they really unuseful, am I being persuaded by thoughts and opinions of the doer/planners around me?, why must refining events be so hard, do kids really hear me when I talk?, am I just talking to myself?, how to I make Bible more fun with twenty-two kids in my class and all they want to do is talk, I don't know how to control my emotions better than what I am doing now, but there is always room for improvement, teaching seems to be a lesson in teaching but teaching myself, how can I not have compassion for those who do not know how to act, they must be taught, they want to be heard, I have little patience for their little squirrely ways, but I want them to feel loved and accepted by me. I wonder what it would be like to teach kids who don't have sin natures? What would life be like if I had the utmost patience for all their shinanegans? What would it be like to actually enjoy planning and doing, accomplishing and disciplining? What will life be like getting my masters? Will I be less stressed than I am now? If I don't have the daily trial of school, where will my refinement come from? Everything feels so hard. No wonder I have negative coping mechanisms. . .

Throwing Giraffes into a Volcano Does Not Make It Rain

2009-02-27T09:44:00.001-08:00

Blogs are hard to keep up with if all you feel like you do is work. Just an observation. Not that I'm working so much that I can't blog, my shoulders are constantly tight, and it's hard to remember what you were doing a second ago for all the thoughts running around in your head. I absolutely do not work hard at all.

In honor of the above statements, I give you my very own limerick that I made up to expunge some particularly zealous feelings for the amount of work I don't do at all. For all you religious people, there is a "bad" word in it, so you might want to avert your eyes if you feel like you're about to be slimed. I'm just sayin'. :)

There once was a teacher who was tired
Who wanted to sleep, but knew she’d be fired.
But who’s gonna tell?
They’ll all go to hell.
Then with grading papers she won’t be so mired.

So, I realize all the above statements were a bit harsh, overly sarcastic, and achingly depressing, but I am none of the above. Some sharp acerbic wit doesn't hurt every once in a while, especially if barely anyone reads this blog. :)

On a happy note,

There once was a ebulliently insouciant girl
Who loved to spend all day in a twirl.
She lived for seeing her friends
And never had to make amends
For her kindness endeared and caused hearts to unfurl.

Ebullient Melodies Resound and Reverberate

2009-02-18T09:10:00.000-08:00

I guess I don't blog a whole lot on this page because I feel like all the stuff inside of me wanting to come out on paper is just complainey. I like my job, I just don't love it, so things that have excitement at the heart of it, in the vein of teaching are few and far between.

But I will say this. I am thankful for what I have learned thus far as a teacher. It has taught me infinite patience that I really never had before. Just think how I'll be as a mom when I'm being patient with a kid I actually LOVE! I'm gonna be the most patient mom on the face of the planet! Not really. . .

I do LOVE teaching Latin. I really don't want to teach anything else. It's the most challenging and fun class ever. And really, it's only fun cause I teach it. Just compare me to that "monk teacher" on Sister Act 2, where he stands in front of the class declining nouns in a repetitive monotone voice. I'm way cooler than that! I like to conjugate while throwing squishy balls. My kids are a little to old to appreciate learning set to music, but as they do group work, I do let them listen to rap.

Music has been a fun addition to my classroom. Having never been an itune junky, they have received an enormous amount of support by me financially in the last few months! I think I've bought at least 20 albums. But who can go wrong with $10 prices! That's way cheaper than buying a CD. So, rap has hit the Latin class airwaves, and learning is now coupled with bobbing of heads.

Ah, fun, gotta love it. :)

Bust out the Kleenex's, ya'll.

2009-02-12T09:39:00.000-08:00

Well, this morning was interesting. Always leave it to me to open up cans of emotional worms right in the middle of inopportune moments. In morning prayer, my team lead was talking about this boy in the middle school that is not doing so well - he was caught stealing from walmart and has been generally rebellious in nature in class. This happens to be my favorite kid in the whole middle school. He also happens to have the same personality as me, according to Myers-Briggs. He's kind of a mini-me, but in boy form. Obviously, he is absolutely dear to my heart.

At the beginning of the year, his mom, who works in the library at school, was talking about her husband having to work more. I am thoroughly convinced that is the reason for this boy's problems. In our humanness, in our inability to live in truth for trying to cope with life, we lie to ourselves. The truth is, this father is not doing a good job fathering this boy in the way he needs to be fathered - especially with his personality type, this boy of all people, needs very strict boundaries or his sin nature will take over and very easily take him over the edge.

So, I'm pissed off at this father. Yes, I used a bad word. But this is my blog and that's how I feel. Actually, I'm not as upset at the father as I am at how blinding lies are. If we could only live in the truth, things like this would not be an issue.

In hearing this bit of information, and having a heart that is deeply connected to people that I love, I cried. I think some of this stems from my emotional sensitivity, but also I spent almost 3 years at a place that was fully focused on intercession, and I've come to learn that tears are a form of intercession. So, this awesome little-man got some heartfelt prayers lifted up for him. . . in the middle of Bible class.

Yeah, that's right. I was weeping for this kid in the middle of class. Thankfully, it was Bible, and I'm certainly not ashamed for having done it, but, you know, it is what it is. I cried in front of 22 middle school girls. Thankfully, they didn't freak out and I got to pray and they were incredibly quiet the whole time, but I just laugh at myself. I'm ridiculous. I know my heart is awesome and pure in its intent, but seriously. Bible class. In the middle of it. Ridiculous. :)

Here's to all you intercessors out there that aren't afraid to weep in awkward places.

Worth

2009-02-06T07:07:00.000-08:00

OK, here's some news. . .

Parent conferences. . . my most dreaded time of year. In the past 4 years of teaching, I have always hated parent conferences. I have always felt like I'm on trial, and all my weaknesses in planning and staying on top of every single kid comes to light. I put all the pressure on me. I always got stomach aches just thinking of having to talk to these parents. Who knows? Perhaps I'd get one that's disgruntled and take all their frustration out on me. That was my greatest fear.

But I really feel like I've turned a corner! I was sitting in my home group on Tuesday night, talking about the horrors of conferences and this trippy schedule I have for Thursday and Friday. After we got done talking, we prayed, and I kept thinking about the conferences and why I have so much anxiety surrounding the whole issue. I knew that was not a healthy response. The only reason I should have this level of anxiety is because there's something deep within me that is believing a lie of some sort.

As I sat there, Jesus revealed the lie to me. And, as a bunny trail, can I just tell you how deeply, movingly thankful I am that Jesus has led me in humility so much in the past 10 years, that I am hearing truth so much more easily. It used to be that I had to lie to myself in order to cope with hard things; now I just want to know the truth, and it gets revealed to me soooooo much more easily than it ever has.

So, the lie was rooted in that old nemisis - rejection. Everytime I think I have that issue rooted out, it just seems to pop up in another location. This time, I realized the rejection came in believing the lie that the parents come into the conference to critique me and not their children. Perhaps there's a bit of pridefulness mixed in there, too - it's all about me. But after having this paradigm shift of realizing it's not about my teaching abilities but the challenges of the kids, every conference I've had with the parents in the past 2 days has been stress free! I don't need to take it personally that their child is lazy and irresponsible! It's not my fault!

It's such a freeing thing to know truth. Even though it has been immensly and unexpressedly painful going through the process of working through my issues and woundings, it has been sooooo worth it - words cannot express the worth that there is in being open enough to receive the truth without coping mechanisms of pride and lies standing in the way. It was worth the pain. It was worth the agony. He is worth it.

The Sun does Prophesy My Beloved's return

2009-02-02T09:28:00.000-08:00

It's February! Which means one of 2 things, depending on how you look at it. . .

1. Yay! Only four more months of working really hard at a highly demanding school! or. . .

2. Boo! My school is only open for 4 more months!

It's kinda up in the air which describes me more, number one or two. I'm kinda mixed on the whole topic. I'm really burnt out of teaching. I'm praying I get into graduate school so I don't have to continue teaching.

In other news, I still enjoy the people I work with! One of our teachers, Coach Mac, turned 50 last week - thankfully it was on our snow day so he got a day off! Hooray for him. I'm posting a pic of us dressed in black in his honor below.

Can I say how much I love snow days? I used that day to have the very productive goal of having a Tyler Perry marathon. If you haven't heard of Tyler Perry, he's the awesome actor/dirctor/producer that makes these incredibly hilarious movies that are clean and deal with real issues but with a pretty Christian worldview. And they have really beautiful actors on it. Mmm-mm. Yes. So, I watched Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Family Reunion, and Meet the Browns. All deliciously funny! :) You should watch them.

This week we have parent conferences. This is really the event that I despise the most. I don't know why. They're usually not that bad, but maybe it's just the anticipation of some disgruntled parent coming in and very politely reaming me for not teaching their poor, underprivileged child the way they need to be taught. I just want to do my job. I really struggle with being criticized.

Bunny trail, I should be getting my surgery boot off this week! I even bought shoes this weekend in anticipation of the event! Hooray! No more hot boot! (you know, hot as in temperature - it's really not attractive, but I heard mention of some of the couture houses in Milan picking up the design. Should be interesting for those anorexic models to sport these babies! :) )

It's Time to Make a Change

2009-01-07T09:43:00.000-08:00

My response to why I want to gain entrance to Baylor's School of Journalism Graduate Program is as follows:

This application feels like a long time in coming. After graduating from Baylor in 2003 with a major in Sociology, I realized I did not know exactly what I wanted to do in life. Perhaps it was immaturity coupled with a subdeveloped critical thinking lobe of my brain. Or perhaps, more positively, I was created to do much more than what my myopic eyes could see at the age of twenty-two. Spending the next five years of my life not pursuing a sociology-related career, namely missionary work and teaching, I was finally given the time to really get to know myself to a greater degree and discern what are my passions and giftings.

These years of reflection has lead me to the realization that my passions include two main genres: words and people. I love anything that has to do with words: vocabulary (yes, I do enjoy reading the dictionary!), reading, writing, and even speaking. This is where journalism comes in; it seems to be the most appropriate avenue to take to find a vocation that can unite my two passions of words and people. Ideally, I would love to go into book publishing, whether it be editing, writing, or working with current authors; this is my ideal goal. However, I know most classes offered in the journalism school are planned for those wanting to go into mass communication, photojournalism, or international journalism. Being certain of which option to go with is where the lucidity of my objective wanes. However, I am clear on these things: I love words, I am creative, determined, focused, and willing to try any avenue it will take to train me so that I might hone my love of words and use them to affect people in a positive and life-changing way.

I Suppose I Should Be More Faithful to Write, But Only 2 People Actually Read This Blog - Sorry Guys. :)

2009-01-07T09:25:00.000-08:00

Well, who would have thought that 2 short months would bring so much change. Change has come, indeed.

My school is shutting down. Due to finances.

Yes, it is sad. I have thoroughly enjoyed teaching here - the teachers I work with, the kids, the administration. Everyone. It has been an honor.

But with death, we all know, Biblically, comes life. I feel free. Thirty-nine months ago, I was pretty much forced to go into the teaching profession. It was with a willing heart that I went, but I do very clearly recall switching majors in college from education to sociology with the reason that I did not want to teach. Yet ironically, here I am teaching. This has not been begruding or miserable for its longevity, but I am realizing with each day I come away from knowing that I will no longer teach here that I can't stand the thought of picking up and simply finding another teaching job. I knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my days in a classroom; that resolution has not changed.

What do I do, then? I just finished yesterday applying for admission into Baylor's School of Journalism to get my masters. I've been wanting to do this for the past almost 5 years; there has just never been the opportunity to pursue it since I've been stuck in teaching. I'm almost in tears writing this knowing that there could be a light at the end of the tunnel of this incredibly difficult job of teaching.

Kudos to all those teachers out there who can handle the work load that goes into teaching - teaching requires you to be mentor, parent, friend, administrator, ambassador, servant, custodian, disciplinarian, coordinator, and planner all at the same time, EVERY DAY. I am fairly certain that my personality was not made to do all these things at the same time. What about time to party? Hang out?

I admit, one of my favorite things to do is create, and I've had plenty of opportunity to do so in this profession, but it gets really taxing to get to do that but do all of the aforementioned jobs at the same time.

I am tired. I am spent.

So, here is my written confession that I do not want to be a teacher any longer. I want to be a writer, editor, or maybe even a pastor. I don't know. I do know that my personality and giftings have many posibilities for a vocation, I just need to figure out what I love doing best.

Next, I will post the response that I gave on my application for why I want to go into the graduate Journalism program. That will sum up much of what I think about a change.

Oh, that I might say farewell to a most challenging profession. Oh, that I might be set free to give myself to things more liberating and things for which I have a passion.

Crazies

2008-11-19T09:19:00.001-08:00

I was looking at old pictures from Homecoming this past September. These are some of my favs. Yes, TX does Homecoming up big! Just think. . . mums.

Shake, Rattle, and Roll

2008-11-18T10:54:00.000-08:00

Alright, let me temper my last entry with a commentary on the good part of being in a constant state of challenge. . . .

Yes, it feels almost impossible to function sometimes with the amount of things to do in a day. It feels impossible to keep my body functioning healthily when all I want to do is go home and sleep instead of get up and work out. It feels impossible to get involved in these kids lives and not bear their burdens to the point of misery. It feels impossible to turn the other cheek in the face of numerous students/parents/teachers who have no care for my emotions and continually say what they want in their selfishness. It feels impossible.

Romans 8:18

But I know that my present sufferings are nothing compared to the glory of Jesus that will be revealed in me as I continue to say yes to the hard trials being set before me. Honestly, if I had not spent almost 3 years at IHOP, giving myself daily to meditating on who Jesus is and being surrounded by people who loved to talk about the glory and fascination of Jesus, I don't think I'd be able to do what I'm doing now.

Jesus is all I have to turn to. He is the only one who can sustain me and keep me from daily falling apart. He is the only one who can make it worth it to go through these trials and frustrations. He is the only one who can fascinate my heart beyond what I can see and the pleasures this world has to offer. He is It.

But I realize there are so many people, especially children, who have not experienced this truth. That is my prayer for this next generation - that they would truly be fascinated beyond what the world says is pleasure and that there would be no turning around.

Shaking

For the first time in my year and a half at this school, during worship at chapel, I actually felt our praises ushering in the manifest presence of Jesus. It was wonderful! One of my strengths/weaknesses is feeling the emotions of others in kind of a discerning sort of way. I've been so messed up by all the negative "vibes" I've been feeling from the general population of the secondary kids, that it was really hard to think about Jesus during chapel. Today was different.

The administration has been kicking out quite a few kids in the past few weeks. All of them have been some sort of behavior problems. All I can say is, "it's about time". I had a prophetic friend say that as she was driving to the school, it felt like there was an earthquake happening around the school. That fully is in line with the "shaking" going on at school and truly sloughing off those that don't need to be here. It says in Haggai that God will shake the heavens and the earth, speaking of purifying. There's been a whole lot of shakin' goin' on! But good.

Pain

Some of that shaking has been hard. We lost an 8th grade girl that I was particularly fond of. She was one that the Lord had really burdened my heart for, and I truly loved her like few of the other kids in the middle school. I think in the long run, judging from the stand that her mom had made with our principal, it was another "shaking" that needed to happen. It was a shaking that I was not particularly happy about. I saw in her a true desire for the Lord in the midst of her lack of understanding and, what I think was a lack of wise teaching from her parents. It is in these situations that I wish refinement and purifying were not so painful. Many tears were shed over the leaving of this precious one.

But in the midst of suffering, I know that Jesus is worth it, just as I felt like he told me at a wedding of a dear friend, "Kristine, you made the cross worth it." And so do you.

A tribute to my fav 3:

I Need a Keeper

2008-11-07T05:37:00.001-08:00

Ever thought of quitting your job? Yeah, well, that's where I'm at right now. I was thinking back to my IHOP days when I first got there and was hearing so many stories of burnt out pastors who would come to the prayer room to rest and recover because they were just burnt out. And I remember pastors telling us that most of this burnt-out-ness really comes from feeling like you have to DO so many things in order to be accepted by God.

Well, that was where I had come from up until that point. I really thought that doing things was the way to please my Heavenly Father because just sitting there waiting to be accepted sure wasn't working on my earthly father. I had a wrong paradigm of God based on my relationship with my earthly father. So, I literally just sat in the prayer room for the first 6 months and did as little as I would allow myself. I really was religious! It was the HARDEST thing to do to just sit there and not read my Bible or study it or read some commentary or theological book. I just had to sit there.

But it worked! Jesus took me through a whole season of speaking His affections over me EVEN WHEN I DID NOTHING! Astounding! So, I've really been able to take that reality to my job, but I truly have all these people over me who are still in the doing mindset. So, I'm caught in the crosshairs of this battle for keeping my own personal sanity by not doing a lot of things all the time and meeting the expectations of my job/staying organized. It's almost impossible! I really am about to quit just so I can have some peace.

The past month, I go home every night with my shoulders super tight and aching just from the stress that I get from having to do so much. I think some of it's also caused by having to constantly stay on top of discipline - which is really hard for me in that I hate having to fight to keep peace. I am perfectly capable of keeping it, but not without conflict.

Conclusion: I don't know what to do. I have to change something, though, or I will spontaneously combust. . . or something. :)

He Likes Me, He Really Likes Me!

2008-10-27T09:30:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I was listening to an old Allen Hood video about the mercy of God. I really tear up everytime I listen to it. But lately, I've really realized how my relationship with God changed when I had a revelation of how much God LIKED me! I know that seems kind of silly or even inconsequential, but I don't think, wait. . . I KNOW that I would not have been able to receive the kind of revelations that He's given me in the past few years if I did not have that truth as a foundation.
There are some theological differences that I have with the last two churches I've been underneath, but I can't think of another place anywhere in the world that would have taught me the reality of what I know if not for them opening that door of revelation. God took that truth and put life on it to the point that I have a reality I never knew was possible.

Application:

If I didn't know what I know now of God's affection for me and my desire to please Him because of His affection for me, I don't think I would be as an effective teacher as I am. I've taken those truths and have really applied it to my classroom. I put blood, sweat, and tears into cultivating relationships with the kids in my classes. And through comparisons with other classes, I know without a shadow of a doubt that my kids are as well behaved as they are because they know they are liked. I try to tell them as much as I can remember that I like them! Out of that, there really is a peace that comes from not having to worry if I'm gonna yell at them for some mistake they made or errant behavior they are acting in. They know they are liked, and so that brings a settled-ness that I've not seen them have in other classes. But this has only come out of the fact that I know without a shadow of a doubt that my God truly likes me! :)

Erroneous Conclusions

2008-10-13T09:14:00.001-07:00

I love those email forwards people send that have kid answers to tests. Well, I now have my very own version. I was grading my history tests yesterday and laughed out loud at these answers:

Question:
How does RAIN (a part of geography) affect the lives of AHA Middle Schoolers (our history!), who have class in portables?

Answer:
Well, one thing is that we don't have activity period (like recess) which makes me a little irritated.

:)

Question:
Because of Adam and Eve, all men have been born into sin. What has that caused throughout history?

Answer:
murder, stealing, and addition

:)

This is the Reason

2008-10-09T10:21:00.000-07:00

I really like kids. I think they're SWEET!!!! Part of me wishes I were still a kid again so I would not have to worry about responsibility. But then the other half of me remembers how awful it was to be a kid with no higher level brain functions and a whole crapload of wounds within me. Boo!
But kids are really the reason I teach. Not just cause I have a heart for just kids, but I know that middle school is such a formative place to lay the groundwork for soft hearts. If I can be a tool in the Lord's hand for seeing a tender heart stay tender, then I know I have completed my heart's desire.
If I did not have kids to speak life into, I would hate teaching. All that other crap - the relations with parents, grading, planning, disciplining, following a schedule - it SO would not be worth it without amazing children to interact with.

Ruminations perhaps after Masticating on it for a While.

2008-10-01T10:12:00.001-07:00

I was ruminating over a subject yesterday. Every Tuesday, my school has a chapel service for the kids where there is worship and a message given by a speaker - usually the youth pastor for the church with whom this school is associated. I guess I'm continually disappointed by the content of his sermons. Yesterday, he was talking about how he used to be a martial arts competitor - which is really cool! But then he spoke about how he started praying in the Spirit before his matches, and he went from being a national medalist to international. His point being, when we have a life in God, we not only get benefitted spiritually but physically.

OK, that's all well and good, and I do agree that Jesus infiltrates all aspects of our being when we have His life within us, but is that what we must tell kids in order to get them to know Jesus? I think I probably would have been astounded by that when I was in high school and would therefore have gone out and spent more time with the Lord and read my Bible more in hopes of when I start working out, I would lose weight. I know that's what I would have thought! I remember what my train of thought was back then.

But is that the whole point of Jesus? To get benefits from Him? Is He my insurance provider so that I am ensured a place in heaven and protection/increase in this life? That seems kind of a shallow reason to be in a relationship with Jesus.

What about Jesus for who He is? That out of the riches of His GLORY He has chosen me BEFORE the foundation of the earth to be united with the Trinity in a relationship that is only darkly mirrored by a marriage relationship here on earth. What about the fact that it is the glory of God to conceal a matter, and GLORY of kings (or us!) to search it out?! I mean, He's called Jesus a MYSTERY many times in the new testament, and yet we are content to thrill ourselves with mysterious movies that END 2 hours later! God, who is BOUNDLESS does not have an end! He is BOUNDLESS!! And we get challenged by stumbling blocks in our way to search Him out, so we quit. I know I have barely begun to tap into the vast ocean of who God is.

I just feel like it's a cop out to concentrate on the benefits of Jesus when that is truly not a long-term motivating factor to stay with Him - knowing that his Spirit will empower my body to function at a higher level will motivate me for about 1 month, if at that. But if I keep the Godhead always before me in a steady gaze, I KNOW that there are riches that I will not tap into for years to come. I HAVE EVERYTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO!

Quote of the Day

2008-09-19T19:21:00.000-07:00

As told to me by a young boy in elementary school:

"I have to tell you, your hair color really scares me."

And my reply to that would be. . .

These are a few of my favorite things. . .

2008-09-18T13:08:00.001-07:00

One of my best friends and her Love. . .

Quote of the Week

2008-09-18T13:08:00.000-07:00

"I dunked my head in the sink for you, Miss D.!"

Sychophantic Ablutions

2008-09-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

It has been a whole long summer since I've last written. I guess I get some of the same feelings other bloggers get - what do you write about? Is it post-worthy?

I know not many people read my blog, so it's really just more for my enjoyment and ability to articulate my feelings about things - so sometimes my ramblings can be kind of negative, even though I'm a pretty glass-half-full kind of girl!

I'm thankful to be in one place for so long. I've spent the past 10 years moving from place to place - Waco, KCMO, Ft. Worth, Grapevine, and back to Carrollton. I'm tired of moving! But I also don't want to stay here forever. I NEVER thought I'd move back to the city I grew up in, but I'm thankful that Jesus is leading me well wherever I go. But I just don't want to stay in one place forever. I want to go places, live in other cities, maybe even countries. I don't know.

Teaching middle school is one of the most rewarding things I've done in a long while, and I love the kids. I'm so thankful for the way people around me encourage me in my giftings and I can encourage them in theirs. I have an awesome team that I work with. I just don't want to be here forever.

On a more positive note, I am thankful that no matter where I go, no matter what I do, Jesus can change my heart. I've seen more growth in my inner man in the past 10 years than I've ever seen of my own personal maturity in the past 27. Jesus has done what only he can do by transforming my heart to be like Him. I never would have thought in high school that I could say Jesus is my obsession. I didn't know how to make Him that - because I couldn't! He did it in me. I am able to say now that He is in every part of my life. I'm teeming with the life of Jesus! I had no idea 10 years ago that this was possible! And I am beyond thankful.

Everything Jesus has said He will do in His word, He has done in me. I have been crucified and my life is not my own anymore. Thank God!

No more school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-02T11:45:00.000-07:00

Well, the title speaks for itself.

Plan your work and work your plan

2008-05-13T09:04:00.001-07:00

I suck at planning. Well, I shall amend. I don't suck at planning; I just hate it. I wish I could live my life off of spontaneity. It would suit me just fine. I just know that I have all these end-of-the-year tasks ahead of me (such as making final exams) that are positively overwhelming. I wanna go home! So here I go. . .

Roving Ramblings

2008-05-09T07:33:00.000-07:00

Everyone needs to read the book "The Shack". It's amazing. Jesus just used it recently to do a whole lot of healing in my heart. Boy, am I wiped out emotionally! I'm glad I have gotten rid of a lot of my pride. The timing of God looks foolish sometimes - right about the time God was bringing issues up for healing, I ended up crying like a baby during my prayer meeting that the middle school teachers meet each morning for. Somewhat of an inopportune moment, but I have no shame - I didn't mind.

In other news, I only have 3 MORE WEEKS LEFT OF SCHOOL!!!

Hooray.

Fight or Flight (pugno or fuga)

2008-05-06T11:32:00.000-07:00

Three more weeks after this one. This morning, it was all I could do to go to my 1st period Bible class. I was sitting in our morning teacher's meeting, and my team lead was going down this list of things to cover. She was talking about this list we had made in her absence, and was saying how much of it was wrong, and I took offense! I realized, then, that I still have some issues in my heart that have not been resolved that deal with fear of failure. I've seen this crop up before, but it was alive and kickin' this morning. It was a stupid something to get frustrated over, but I did, and I knew why. God! I need your mercy to get this fear taken out of me! I can't continue on in this profession if I'm constantly in fear of failing the people around me.

But then we had a great prayer time. I like Jesus a lot. How needy we are as humans! And how good God is to us! I'm so thankful that He never gets irritated with us but understands fully our human frailty. Hooray! I will live to fight another day.

Random Repartee

2008-05-02T09:53:00.000-07:00

Welcome, May! The beginning of May marks the end of the school year - only 4 more weeks!!!!! I'm soooo ready for summer! It's coming fast, but in a very slow way.

This week was Teacher Appreciation Week, so I got lots of yummy food, lovely flowers, and GIFT CARDS!!!! I love gift cards. Today, I got one for Target and Olive Garden. Hooray for free food. :) I feel very appreciated.

I feel very inadequate when it comes to teaching Latin. There is so much I don't know that would help for teaching. But we're almost to the end, so I can breathe easier for next year because this summer, I'm taking a Latin class! I will be asking copious questions and making sure all my fears come to an end. Hooray.

Magistra of the Month

2008-04-30T13:41:00.001-07:00

So, I did get Teacher of the Month for April. That was encouraging. Although I do think I have far too much of a self-critical nature to really feel honored by this award. I see sooooooooo many things that I'm NOT doing, but I know that most people are seeing the things that I AM doing. Self-critical. Boo. Also, there's the factor that since I'm more of a people person, I care more if people like me rather than if they think I'm doing a good job. That probably has something to do with it. So, I'm truly thankful, but just love me! :)

The Farmer in the Dell

2008-04-25T13:13:00.000-07:00

Well! I made it through another long, laborious week. All of my hairs are, indeed, intact, and I can now say I have only 1 more month of school! Yay! (It sounds better saying one more month rather than 5 more weeks :))

That calls for a nap!

Tear my Hair Out

2008-04-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

Today was 5th grade travel day. This is where the 5th graders get to come travel with a 6th grader to check out what it's like to be in the middle school. AHHHHH!!!! I want to tear my hair out. First of all, I'm horrible at planning and foreseeing problems that might arise; second, I'm terrible at time management. Well, both of these weaknesses came to haunt me today - I was not prepared. I tried to be! I had 31 KIDS in my classroom for history! I normally have 13. It was not a terribly bad experience, but I asked Marci this morning what the point of all this was. She gave me a reason, but I DON'T AGREE! I should not have to be subjected to this kind of treatment! I was so ready for class to be over. The upside was class was over quickly!

Memories

2008-04-23T05:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I heard that one of my favorite teachers growing up died. I think she is the first out of all the teachers I've ever had to die - I think it was from breast cancer. It's an interesting thought - I mean, I haven't lived that long. If I were in my forties or fifties, of course I'd realize teachers would be passing away because they're inching into their older years (I won't use "elderly" lest I offend :)). I, for one, would not be the person that I am if it weren't for the godly men and women that invested in my life when I was young. So here's to you, teachers of old, that have made a difference in this young life:

Kindergarten - Mrs. O'Kelley
1st Grade - Mrs. Piott
2nd Grade - Mrs. Fritzler
3rd Grade - Mrs. Faulkner
4th Grade - Mrs. Durham (now gone to be with Jesus)
5th Grade - Mr. Carloy
6th Grade - Mrs. Soderstrom, now Hayes

You are remembered.

Icky Pickle Chips

2008-04-18T08:32:00.001-07:00

It's amazing how dependent I am on technology. I guess all of us are. I accidentally "soaked" my phone in a puddle of Jamba Juice Carribean Cooler. Needless to say, it doesn't work anymore. Then, I went to use my camera that I've had for 5 years - a top-of-the-line digital one from prehistoric times, and it doesn't work anymore. Technology! What to do. What to do. Money. Money. Money.

On another note, my poor ADHD kid was about to drive me batty or to yell at him today, so I had him spend the period copying the book we were using for class - ahhhhh, blessed peace.

*The title comes from the fact that a kid shared a weird type of Pringle chip with me - pickle. Disgusting!

Conundrums and Debacles

2008-04-17T09:09:00.000-07:00

Funny story. I was remembering today about a time a few weeks ago when we were testing our kids for Stanford Achievement Tests - it's kind of like the Christian school version of the Texas test all the public school kids have to take. On our last day of testing, I had just had a really long day, was really, really tired, and so I didn't make sure I took care of the testing materials that we were supposed to lock in our cabinets after testing each day. So the next day comes, and the coordinator is calling and emailing me b/c I'm the last one to turn in my tests. Well, I don't get around to responding until 11:00, and then I start looking for them in my cabinet. They're not there. I look in another cabinet. Not there either. I scour my room looking for any sign of the box that contains the precious testing materials, and they are not to be found.

I don't panic, but I do go to my lead teacher and tell her, so we go througout all the classrooms looking for my errant box, when I realize - "I think I left the box sitting on top of my trash can yesterday". I inform Marci of my conundrum, and we decide that it would be best if I go look in the dumpster. On the way down there, I'm just thinking, "Ahhh! Once again my irresponsibility gets me in trouble!" So, I go down to the dumpster, look in, and what do I see? That's right! My box full of my testing stuff! By the grace of God, all the stuff that I had stored in there was still in tact with nary a banana peel or other detestable garbage refuse clinging to the contents. I successfully returned the materials to the coordinator with a note of apology as to its tardiness but not of its dastardly dumpster adventures!

So the moral of the story is: Be responsible with important things! Thankfully, Marci and I were the only ones who knew about my debacle, but now you do. Keep it quiet! :)

Grecian Beauty

2008-04-16T09:08:00.000-07:00

So, I kind of got sick this week. Not too, bad, though, but I thought it was funny. I worked out yesterday afternoon, and I came home, went in my room, and was going to listen to one worship song while laying in my bed with my eyes closed. I opened my eyes at the end of a song and went to go turn the CD off when I noticed that the CD was on track 6!!!! I slept through 6 songs (which, granted, is not a whole lot of time, but still - I only meant to slept through 1!!) Funny.

I am amazed at how much parents give in to their children. We have some kids that I KNOW are not sick out today. Let's not coddle our children, folks!

I have so much sympathy for children who have ADHD kids MOST DAYS. Today was not one of them. I'm just thankful that I only had my one particularly troubling child for one class - and not 3 TIMES A DAY, like last semester.

I started working out again now that my foot is healed, but I have one question for those who frequent (if you say this word with a British accent and put the accent on the -ent, it becomes a very delightful word!) the 24Hour Fitness club down the street from me - where are all the fat people? All I see are either these buff people that are making sure they stay buff or the poor anorexic women who have no business being there. What about those who are mildly fluffy or throwbacks to Grecian days when a fair amount of corpulence on the body was the ideal body type? I think that should be an added category when rating your body - a. atheletic, b. skinny, c. Grecian. :)

Insatiability

2008-04-15T09:10:00.000-07:00

I would just like to announce my new favorite website: freerice.com

Warning: do not visit this site if you do not have an insatiable desire for words.

Kristine's Top Ten Penultimate Lessons

2008-04-15T05:13:00.000-07:00

Last week the majority of the middle school embarked upon a fun-filled week of touring Texas in a chartered bus. And I? I was stuck with the rest of the kids at home going on field trips. I think it would have been a less stressful week had I not been informed earlier about our transportation snafoos. As it ended up, I spent every morning that week bowing and scraping and groveling trying to get administrative folk to help pad my first-year inability to plan ahead, while spending the day reigning in my chicks and clucking at them all the while. Truly, when I got on the field trips, I actually had fun. It was the pre-fun era that preceded the fun and caused me to be stressed out. Although, I will say dealing with the ire of the administration is far more easily handled than that of an irate "mama bear" parent whose poor "cub" has gotten in trouble. ("Oh, how could my poor cub be in trouble? He/she is just so perfect and wonderful! There must be something wrong with you, oh incompetent teacher!") But! I did learn some lessons:

1. I truly am not a planner and much more enjoy hanging out with the kids having fun (oh wait, I already knew that)

2. My boss still is my favorite because of the way he reacted to the bumps in our situational road.

3. He has a wonderful phrase - "it is what it is", which I find so applicable in so many situations.

4. No matter how much I don't know, I will probably end up being blamed anyway, so just suck it up.

5. Grovelling is a very effective tool when in trouble.

6. Mature kids are far more enjoyable than those incessantly talking your ear off and getting in trouble.

7. Never get speeding tickets if you plan to drive a van full of kids sometime later down the road.

8. Power outages are the perfect excuse for getting out of school.

9. I get pretty grumpy when I am loaded down with task-oriented things to do.

10. And for the grand finale - walking around aimlessly in the gift shops at the Zoo is far more enjoyable than actually seeing the animals (with the right company).

Short Stumpy Things

2008-04-14T11:05:00.000-07:00

I think my posts are too long. Here's a short one just to stump myself. (Get it?! A stump is short?!!!!)

Atrophy of the Heart in the Presence of Deceit

2008-04-11T12:21:00.000-07:00

I figure it's been a while since I posted, so here I am again.

I have realized for some time how emotionally functional I am. In the immortal words of Aristotle, "know thyself" is an exhortation that has really hit home for me in the past 8 years. I believe that if you are not truly honest about who you are, how you function, the ways you justify things (which is really just lying), you cannot even being to live a full life. All of these areas of deception that we immerse ourselves in, whether it be unconsiously done or on purpose, cannot give us the fullness of what God has for us, especially if we continually put bandaids of lies over our woundings. That is why I've spent the past almost 10 years really looking deeply at my heart and allowing the Holy Spirit to show me places that I lie to myself or wounds that I am covering up with dysfunctional habits. I know it is easier to not pursue that course of action, but the benefits, I believe, far outweigh the sufferings.

One of the ways that I've endeavored to "know myself" is to take personality tests. If I don't understand how Jesus made me, I cannot even begin to function socially with other people. We are all made differently in this vast array of beautiful personalities coalescing into a rainbow of colorful interpersonal communication styles. We are all not made the same; we might possess similar personality traits, but all the traits coming together to work within a person always looks different depending on how God created us. And there are so many different personality tests! Myers-Briggs, Type Tests, Color Tests, Animal Characterizations, Life Languages, and so on. None of these tests are exactly alike because our personalities are so diverse! It is not so dissimilar from the way our body functions. We have cells, and organs, and systems, all diverse and working together. Same with personalities. Some traits are manifest, some are latent, but we all possess characteristics of Jesus! The diversity is mind-boggling.

I have a roommate that is quite similar to me. We both love to have fun, can hang out with people for hours on end, love to give gifts to people, have weaknesses in planning ahead. But we also have quite diverse dissimilarities. I have very obvious humor and you can read my emotions in my face, whereas she has very dry humor and doesn't always have her emotions easily visible. She is very analytical and therefore makes a great science teacher, whereas I am very sense orientes which makes me a great decorator. We seem a whole lot alike, but we are so different! It's quite enjoyable.

If we cannot take the time to understand how God created us the way He did, then we will perpetually live in a state of deception that keeps us from hearing truth. Without truth, we cannot be formed into the image of Jesus Who is Truth. This VASTLY affects how we treat each other, so it is absolutely vital that we "Know Thyself" because without out knowlege or vision, a people perish (Proverbs).

Well, I was going to write about my week full of field trips and drama, but as I was writing, the blog seemed to head in a completely different direction (see, my spontaneity reveals itself!). I'll write again soon.

Latent Musings

2008-02-15T09:06:00.000-08:00

Well, I did seem to deviate from the usual writings - as in, I haven't written for 3 months. Oops! I wonder if real writers feel the same way and are sporadic in their writing. But then I look at friends' blogs and notice they've been particularly verbose, consistently. Whatever. . .

Since this is a chronicle of my teaching experiences, I will begin with January being the mark of a whole new batch of kids to be taught. Since the first semester was over, I now have the other half of the middle school - which is actually more kids than last semester, but only by 10. In some ways, this has been an easier semester because I now know what I'm doing instead of complete newness and panic. But also, I'm dealing with a lot more discipline issues.

Take on boy for example - we'll call him Bob. Bob has consistently been a behavior problem in all the classes he participates in. He is very smart, but because of some home life issues, continues to question authority. Well, he started in my class this semester, and the first day we were already competing for who was going to be in charge. His was a completely passive aggressive stance, but aggressive nonetheless. I ended up having to bring down the hammer on half of the kids in that class so I could restore order and even begin to like teaching them. Now they are afraid of getting in trouble, which is not conducive to positive learning environment. However. . .

Lest I bore myself with mulling over with considerable detail all the problems I've been having, my personal life has taken a turn for the better! I was living in a city kind of far away from where I worked with a roommate that was not happy with me or my mom (who was her boss). So, she moved out, I had to break lease, and now I'm living in the city of my work with a wonderful woman with which I have the greatest fun! I am so enjoying myself! You kind of weigh your pros with your cons, but it's better than having both my personal and work life suck!

One thing I have remembered and decided to lean upon is the fact that Jesus' "head is of the finest gold". This is a phrase that comes from the Song of Solomon in the Bible (chapter 5) and, in quite literative terms, describes the leadership of Jesus as being perfect. I forget that fact, though it has been fully ingrained in me through experience. No matter what the day may bring or who may become unhappy with me, Jesus is going to lead me in a perfect way (you know, even in the midst of my messy humanity). He will bring my life to an expected end! So, I can lean upon his sovereignty knowing that I am but a small thread in the fabric of God's sovereign plan for his creation. And, I know that the living and active God dwells within me. Whom shall I fear?

Dizzy Derivatives

2007-11-19T06:49:00.000-08:00

OK, this blog will be more fun. I get sick of writing boring blogs about things that happen in a day, so here's a fun story for you.
My kids had to write a story using their derivatives: unity, union, unique, dual, duet, trio, tertiary, triangle, quarter, quartet, quadruplets, sextet, sextan, September, septennial, October, octave, octopus, November, novena, December, decade, decimate, century, centurion, centipede, millenium, and million.
Here's the one I wrote:

Many milleniums ago, in a land far away, there lived a fair maiden, Arianna, who was a unique addition to the Village Rolf. When she was ten, Arianna suddenly showed up on the doorstep of the town baker. The only information the villagers could find out about the girl was that she had the voice of an angel, and she came from somewhere across the sea. As she grew up, Arianna learned from the baker how to create trios of cakes and other pasteries, all the while singing melodic tunes for her noble patrons who would drop in to order beautiful creations made by her hand. Even though people would stop just to listen to her sweet voice sing, no one took the time to get to know her, only listen to her melodies. Arianna was lonely. Though she did not feel shunned by the village, she still did not fit in.

As the warm winds of the summer grew colder, September and October days flew by until it came time for the November Septennial called “The Feast of Days”, a celebration that happened every seventh year, to commemorate the seven day period in which their Creator, King Ravelle, gave them life so very long ago.

This septennial was to be especially sweet for the excited Arianna. She was to be the first of her village to bake the cake that was to be presented to King Ravelle’s son, Arrius, to honor the very special event. All the village was abuzz about Arianna’s special cake talents creating this exciting opportunity for her. She would get to meet the King and his Son!

Arianna’s preparations were not the only activity in the village. Duet’s of singers, quartets of stringed instruments, and sextets of lute players met together to practice for the upcoming event. Dogs howled and cats yipped at some of the singers as they sang their octaves in dissonant tones. Good thing the King lauded all efforts to praise Him, melodic or not!
A few days before the events were to start, Arianna was in a state of confusion as to what she wanted to put on her cake! The first plan she had was to put octopi on her cake since this was the 80th septennial that the country had celebrated and an octopus has eight legs, but she decided it was stupid. Her second thought was to make a December-themed cake since it was almost December and she could put lovely snowflakes all around the cake. But that was lame. Finally, a tertiary thought came to her that she thought would be just the thing! In her excitement, she went to go visit her friend who had entered into a novena to pray for her sick son who kept having sextans as a result of having malaria.

Arianna and her friend both decided what to put on her cake, but what was she going to wear? After much sorting through her meager wardrobe, they decided to make a unity dress, a special type of dress used to draw the villagers into a union when there was strife among them. She picked out two of her dresses to make a dual-colored unity dress and brought them over for measurement at the Taylor Quintuplets’ house, the village seamstresses.

Finally, after much preparation, the day had arrived! She had finished her magnificent cake, was wearing her brand new dual-colored unity dress, and was ready to meet the King. But, oh, how she was nervous! A million things were running through her head. What if the King didn’t like the cake?! What if the Son was not pleased with her presentation? The butterflies were all aflutter within her. Taking a deep breath, she walked with the other villagers to the town triangle to walk to the King’s court together.

As they walked, Arianna tried to take her mind off her nervousness by looking at the glorious scenery around her. In a field to her left, cows were peacefully laying in groups, a quarter of them were lazily swatting flies with their tails. To her right was a farm house that had a windmill in front making slow circles around and around. Looking at these things kept Arianna from going crazy with apprehension. In the midst of her peaceful repose, the village clown, a little boy of ten who loved to scare young maidens, ran up to her and dangled a centipede in front of her face. Oooh!! How she wished that boy’s mother would give him a few good wacks!
For the remainder of the short journey (which felt like it took a century), Arianna turned to the people around her to make small talk in order to get her mind off her thoughts. As she was finishing a conversation, the King’s castle came into view, and all her butterflies returned in full force. She walked hesitatingly up the royal steps and into the grand ballroom with the rest of her friends. Her time had come. After everyone had settled, loud trumpets filled the ballroom with piercing tones to announce the entrance of the King.

Awed with wonder at the majesty of King Ravelle, everyone stood silent. But at the introduction of the King’s Son, Arrius, the entire ballroom erupted into clamorous applause, deafening ears and exciting hearts. But the moment had arrived. Arianna moved closer to the front to be ready for the unveiling of her cake and her introduction to the two royals. A servant was sent to bring Arianna up to the dais to stand before King Ravelle and Prince Arrius. She trembled in healthy fear of their position, but was struck by the Prince’s gaze when she bravely ventured a glace his way. After looking into the most tender, the most beautiful of eyes that were exactly the color of the deep, endless ocean Arianna sailed on to bring her to this land, she was all at once speechless and at the same time emboldened like a centurion charging forth to decimate his enemies. But with these feelings, she finally realized – looking into his eyes finally made her feel like she belonged somewhere! Bravely she looked up, smiled, and gestured to the men to reveal her magnificent cake.

The crowd gasped. Before them was a spectacle beyond comprehension. The young maiden from a village had completed such a work of art? Inconceivable! As Arianna looked into the faces of confusion and satisfaction, she could not decide what the crowd thought. So she looked to the Prince to see what He would say. Having never taken His eyes off the maiden, Arrius stood up and walked toward Arianna. She froze at His approach, not knowing what to do. He smiled into her eyes, took her hand, and addressed the crowd.

“My people! Let’s go kill the ogres!”

Dancing Centipedes

2007-11-09T11:21:00.000-08:00

I need a vacation. I feel my energy ebbing, and I'm having more days where I just don't want to be here. Just one more week. I think I'll make it.

A Deluge of Distraught Drama

2007-11-07T14:18:00.000-08:00

Well, I made a kid cry today. I am such a compassionate person, but dealing with a crying kid who deserved to get a detention does not move me. Yes, the issues the kid has does move me, but the crying doesn't. Does teaching make you heartless? Sometimes I wonder about myself. But then I look at all the children I do have compassion for, and it encourages me.

Boys are so different from me (thank the Lord). I had my boy's Bible class act out a story from the Bible, and they were so crazy and loud and, well, just . . . boyish. :) It makes me thankful I am a girl, but it also makes me thankful that boys are boys. They add a little of their own spice to the world (even though they're made of snails and puppy dog tails).

Fie you Fickle Fiends!

2007-11-07T10:19:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was quite the whirlwind. Can I just say, I love my seventh graders. I don't know why - they're really kind of loud and noisy, but I just love them. Maybe it's because there are a lot of extroverts in there, and I loooooooove extroverted people! Also, they're just so full of life. Hooray!

One of the perks of working at a larger school than the one I did before is people buy you things! We, as a middle school team, had lunch catered to us by a mom that works for Chili's. So, I didn't have to make my own lunch, I had it brought to me. Mmmmm, I do love me some turkey sandwich!

The eighth grade led chapel today. It's really interesting to see how much potential these kids have, but how much farther they have to go. It reminds me of how selfish and self-centered I was at that age. But they are really awesome kids! I enjoy watching kids lead. They need a lot of help. :)

Two of my extroverted seventh grade girls I love. They're so cute, and I felt like I was back in high school - like I was the most popular kid or something. They both were begging me to come sit by them, and all I could think was - you may like me now, but just wait until you get into trouble - then you won't like me so much. :) The fickleness of youth.

Via con Dios

2007-11-05T14:06:00.000-08:00

Oh, my darling sixth graders. How I struggle with them. Today was just a normal day, but I could not stand it this afternoon. They really weren't any more frustrating than normal, but I just couldn't deal with it. So, I sat at my computer and found a massage therapy school that is cheap and am going for a massage this evening. :) Jesus will take care of me. And my kids. And my roommate. And my mice. :)

Ratatouille

2007-11-04T15:05:00.000-08:00

Well, Friday was Friday. Nothing special. But this weekend was hilarious. I've been looking for a roommate cause mine wants to move out. Well, I got unexpected ones that weren't welcome. Mice. Eeek! I'm not really scared of mice, but it isn't a welcome sight sitting in my chair and seeing this black streak race around my television and go under my couch. Then, after a few minutes of staring, this cute little black nose sticks out, and then eventually the whole body of a tiny little mouse. Cute, but unwanted.

My mom had put out sticky traps that morning, but apparently, they were in the wrong place because I looked in the kitchen and a mouse had smelled some leftovers I had sitting on the counter. It had proceeded to crawl around, but when I turned on the light, it didn't go into some unnamed hole, but my stove! What the heck! Eventually, after putting on some peanut butter on the traps and repositioning them, a mouse was caught!

I called the apartment managers, and this sweet girl answered and said the maintenance men were not on duty during the weekend, so she would be the only one who could come get the creature. Obviously, I was not going to make her come get it, and I wasn't about to pick it up, so she called around and got her BOYFRIEND to come get it!

Unfortunately, after retrieving the unwanted roommate, another caught itself in another trap. However, it was too late by then to call the apartments, so I was going to brave it and pick up the evil critter with a spatula to put in the trash. Well, it started to squeak! Eeek! So, I gave up on that and went to bed early. Needless to say, I'm not really happy about these weekend visitors, however cute they are.

Unquenchable Centurions

2007-11-01T17:21:00.001-07:00

This morning, I decided to make the most of my b-day. I have all sixth grade on b-days, and Tuesday was horrid. I was soooooooo tired by the end of the day; I just got so tired of dealing with my ADD kids. So, I decided to lower my expectations and expect the kids to be loud and obnoxious and not listen to me the first time. I can't tell you how much patience I had with them! I barely even got frustrated, so I was able to actually enjoy the kids. Praise the Lord!

Today was really the first day that I was not completely prepared for class. I did a lot of last-minute preparation, but made it a good class anyway.

Next week, I have to teach the kids about declensions in Latin. I'm not really looking forward to it because I have to do a lot of background teaching on English nouns. I still haven't decided how to go about doing it yet, but I have some ideas. I just have to solidify my plans. Ahhhh! Planning! I feel like that's all I ever do (besides grading papers) (and conferencing with parents) (and making sure the kids are organized). But I do love the kids, so that really does make it worth it. :)

Conundrums of Monolithic Proportions! (Drama, yes)

2007-10-30T13:23:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful day! The upside of living in Texas is the weather during the interim seasons are wonderfully cool and fantastic!

It's a bummer how your personal life can so vastly affect your professional life. I'm having roommate trouble - pretty much my roommate is a social mess and does not understand how to be a roommate. She tries (well, maybe), but it's frustrating. This morning, I was going to leave a little later than usual for work, but decided not to so I wouldn't have to talk to her. Avoiding? Yes. But also, I just didn't have the time to really confront her about her ideas, so I didn't want to stick around to have a vapid conversation with someone who doesn't seem to even like me.

But I love Jesus. It makes it nice to know that He is fully alive in me, and though I have my days of wanting to be lazy and walk in the flesh, He still encourages me and woos me to choose sacrifice. I am not my own. What a thrill it is to be fully possessed (in a righteous way!).

He is my portion and my inheritance. He is the life I live, though I battle against fleshly desires daily. Union with Him. What bliss. What pain. What life!

An Effervescent Septennial

2007-10-29T13:38:00.001-07:00

I had a most wonderful day today. I thought it was gonna be crappy considering I didn't get as much sleep as I needed last night, but I had so much grace for my kids today. They seemed to have calmed down from the craziness of last week.

My kids are sooo creative! I love "derivative day" when we learn new derivatives cause I get to hear people's creativity come out. They are so wonderful. I need to write some of them down to put on this blog.

I talked to my friend, Julia, today about some confusion I'm having with the Lord. It was really helpful and refreshing to talk to someone who understands. A conversation with another friend brought me to look at a site that contains writings from an early Catholic mystic, Hans urs von Balthazar. I read an excerpt of his before class, and I was so incredibly enthralled! I was finishing reading it during the beginning of class, so I don't know if it was that or just my kids calm-ness, but I had an amazing time with them. We got to pray and their level of spirituality is greater than I thought it was. Children astound me.

I was able to talk to one of my favorite girls today after school. She reminds me so much of me in so many ways, but especially in her need to be loved. She is having home problems, so I was able to speak to her and I really just feel a burden for her heart. It is so precious, and I just see her being confused and lost in unreality. She needs a revelation of Jesus in her inner man.

Jesus is so wonderful. :)

Jesus Loves Me :)

2007-10-27T14:26:00.000-07:00

Friday was a funny day. I love my sixth graders in Latin, but I have 3 ADHD kids who have the HARDEST time concentrating! So, usually, when I get frustrated, I just stop in the middle of class and start singing, "Jesus loves me". It's quite helpful; the kids think it's funny; and I get to hang out with Jesus for a few short seconds to remind me of why I'm in the position I'm in. So, the funny thing was, one of my girls that I also have for Bible and History, sees that I'm getting frustrated, and starts singing "Jesus loves me" to me! It was great cause it made me laugh, especially cause she knew what would make me happy, and then I looked over to her and said, "You are in far too many of my classes!"

Aerodynamic Bovines

2007-10-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

Well, this week has just gotten away from me! I haven't written since last week.

Weather change REALLY DOES affect kids! Seriously, we had the weather drop from 80 to 50 in one day. When I got to school, I thought I was teaching different kids! They were CRAZY! They were soooooooo hyper and it took every ounce of energy I had to keep them on track!

Weather change, I didn't know, really does affect pains in your body! I've had this foot problem, which I found out yesterday is a torn achilles tendon, and since the weather change, the pain has been EXCRUCIATING! It's felt like I've had a broken foot. But the upside is that I've had kids step up in leadership and help me out. It's nice to have kids that are responsible enough (and tall enough) to help me. I've really been able to stay off my feet, which I've really needed to do.

I had this really fun game that I did in Latin, but it went kind of crazy because of the weather change (the kids were crazy). We learned Latin numb3rs this week, so I went outside and hid notecards with the Latin and then English number name and the kids had to go match the cards up. It was fun! (but crazy) The really funny thing was that when I went to go hide the cards, I fell down a muddy hill! It was kind of comical looking, but I wasn't hurt. I just got wet and dirty :) I really do hate sitting in class all day and not doing anything fun.

Supposedly, I'm going to KC this weekend, but I figured out yesterday that I accidentally booked a morning flight instead of an evening. So, I have to wait till tomorrow morning to see if I can get a flight. I don't know! What's gonna happen?! Ahhhhhh!

Shoot Me.

2007-10-19T11:47:00.000-07:00

That phrase seems to run in my head far too often. I don't know if it's the expectations of kids being too high or frustration at myself for not bringing a concept across well enough. Whatever, I just get tired of having to repeat myself.

This week has been Homecoming week. VERY CRAZY. Very little schedule. I did, however, get a project done in class, got a new student, dressed up like a punk, and won a door decorating contest. :) It was fun, but I guess I'm still not into all the school spirit stuff. It was the best Pep Rally I've ever been to (glow-in-the-dark themed), but I just don't care for all the craziness. :)

Maybe I should write these blogs earlier in the day when I have more enthusiasm. By the end of the day, I just want to go home and forget about everthing. I don't really have a lot of pep in these entries. Sorry.

Braindead

2007-10-16T13:44:00.000-07:00

I guess I get disheartened really easily - or maybe when I'm tired. I got to 6th grade Latin today, and they took the same quiz as I gave to my 7th and 8th graders, and they didn't know it! The really smart ones did, but half the class was sitting there stumped. I was so depressed. I don't know if it's the difficulty level or the class or what, but I was really depressed. I can't give homework in Latin, so the reinforcement is not there, but I go over and over and over this stuff and I still have these kids giving me a blank face. Ahhhhhhh!!!!!

Finally, at the end of class, just sat down, took off my retard boot, and wanted to cry. But I didn't. I DID let them go early, though. :) My expectations are too high, I guess.

Shoot me; I'm done. :)

MUST GET SLEEP!!!

2007-10-15T14:28:00.000-07:00

Great googly-moogly!! Has this been a heck of a day. I am soooooo exhausted. I think partly because I didn't get enough sleep last night, though I went to bed on time. Whatever.

So, do you ever have one of those technologically challenging days? I was supposed to post grades today, so I spent my planning period entering in grades - about 10-15 of them. After school, I decide to check on the laptop computers that I'm supposed to work with this week for a major project. Well, in logging off of my computer, I did not realize I didn't save my grades. So, now, I have about 10-15 grades that I have to enter in again. Oh yeah, and the laptops don't work so I can't use them for my project! Great!

My favorite class, my seventh graders, taught me how imperative it is that I get sleep - I was sooo annoyed at them today. I wanted to run away. I also learned how difficult it is to work with kids who are on such different levels of learning. I know that I have repeated concepts numerous times to my kids, but there are those select few that still don't get it. I gave a quiz today and while my really smart kids were almost finishing, I had my ADD kids staring off into space and had put nary a word down on the quiz. It took them, like, 30 minutes to take a 10 minute quiz!!!!! I got SO FRUSTRATED!!!!

But, I did buy a Mulled Cider candle at Walmart this weekend, and burned it all day in my classroom - it smells gloriously wonderful!!!

It rained alll day long - I absolutely love rain. AND, it's almost cold!!! Lovely fall weather.

On a bummer note, I have to get my MRI today, which they said takes an hour and a half to do! So, here I go!

Moral of the story: EVERYTHING is overwhelming when you don't sleep enough!!!!

Wednesday, the Day of Bum Foots

2007-10-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

New lesson: educational bingo, M&M's, and sixth graders do not go together. I am still sometimes surprised at the age difference and how that affects learning. It boggles the mind how 8th graders are completely quiet and sedate and sixth graders come in yelling and full of exuberance, looking at you, bewildered as to why I have an irritated look on my face! It's so funny!

So, I went to the foot doctor yesterday. Last week, they told me I had gout. Thankfully, it is not true, but this current diagnosis seems even more frustrating. I have achilles tendonopathy. This is the chronic version of achilles tendonitis. I did have fun talking to the doctor though - we talked about word origins.

Now that I'm teaching Latin, I am far more aware of word origins than ever before. I listened to the doctor and heard the difference between "opathy" and "itis", which is, "opathy" means a disease because of chronic "itis", which is inflammation of. I asked him if he new if those words were Greek or Latin origin and proceeded to tell me a really cheesy Latin joke (I didn't get it :) ). Anyway, I thought it was fun my training in teaching Latin came in handy!

The remedy? I have to get an MRI on my foot to make sure I do not have a tear in my Achilles tendon, I have to wear a "retard" boot for 2 weeks, and, worst case scenario, I have to get surgery if there is. But I know Jesus will be faithful and I won't have to.

Anway, recap of today - bum foot, funny boot, and no M&M Latin for 6th graders!

Day 33 - A day

2007-10-09T14:09:00.000-07:00

Today was lovely! It finally feels like fall. I would write more, but I have a foot doctor appointment. I was encouraged today, however, that Jesus has not changed, but I really need to find my own reality in Him and not just someone else's view of who He is. I need reality in my life! I love my kids!

Day 32 - B day

2007-10-08T14:58:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am again on another blog. :) This one is different, though. Part of my requirements for getting certified is keeping a journal of my "first year". Well, technically, this is my first year in an accredited school, which is all that matters.

So, here I am, a Latin, History, and Bible teacher. I really actually love it. I am so overwhelmed most days because there is so much to do and so many procedures to go through - and that's not even when I'm teaching! I love my kids.

Today was a B-day, which meant I had all my lovely sixth graders all day. They were really great, but it takes soooooo much effort to keep them on task and listening. I can't tell you how many times I have to repeat myself and they still don't get it! I think some of my problem is my ADD kids - I have four of them in History. They are trying, but I almost have to stand over them if they're gonna get anything done!

I must say, I do love my Latin classes. We learned derivatives today from Lesson 3.

Are new words are terrain, terrestrial, territory, bilingual, linguistics, viaduct, via, fortune, clamor, exclamation, vocal, herbivore, and superior.

These words come from the Latin words: terra - land/earth, lingua - language, via - road/way, fortuna - fortune/luck, clamo - "I shout", voco - "I call", herba - plant/herb, and supero - "I overcome/conquer".

Can you guess which English words come from which Latin words? Can you put all of them in a sentence?

Tomorrow is my fun day because I get my 7th and 8th graders. I love my 7th graders - they are my favorite! I don't know what it is about them, but they make me happy everytime they walk in the room! I'll have to take a picture of them at some point.

Oh, yeah, the name of my site, magistra latinae (mah-gee-strah lah-teen-ay), means Latin Teacher in Latin. I thought it would be appropriate since that's what I am.

The title is a take off of "Vini, vidi, vici" - the quote Julius Caesar said that mean, "He came, he saw, he conquered." I put my own spin on it using some Latin derivatives that encapsulates the essence of what I do in a day.

Anyway, more to come.